A Case of the "Shoulds"

I’m absolutely obsessed with the show Industry on HBO. The writing, the acting, the references—it's all peak! After each episode, I find myself reflecting on the themes of illusion, power, and identity. Who holds it? Who performs it? Who thinks they understand their role?

Art imitates life, right? While most of us aren’t shorting stocks, we all live within systems of illusion. This week, during client sessions, a consistent theme emerged: the power of “should” over our lives.

When we slowed down and examined this “should,” something shifted. The idea wasn’t truly theirs. The “should” was inherited.

• From family.

• From culture.

• From an earlier version of themselves.

• From a moment when that belief made sense.

  
  

The power of “should” doesn’t stem from truth; it comes from unexamined assumptions.

What Does "Should" Mean?

Here’s the thing about “should”...

• It doesn’t care about your context.

• It doesn’t care about your growth.

• It doesn’t care about your dreams.

  
  

“Should” is all about maintaining the script. Whether we want that script or not, it offers something seductive: predictability.

We love predictability because it feels known. And what’s known feels safe. But that’s the illusion.

The Illusion of Autonomy

“Should” creates an illusion of autonomy until we explore why we feel conflicted about it. This is where curiosity becomes powerful.

What is this tension with “should” trying to tell me?

Where did this belief come from?

Is this actually mine?

If no one were watching, would I still choose this?

Stuckness often stems from allegiance to an idea we’ve never audited.

Rearranging Your Picture

Once you examine the idea, you can rearrange the picture. You can keep parts, discard others, and update it for who you are now.

If you’re open to it…

Notice one “should” this week and get curious about it.

• Who taught me this?

• When did this become true?

• Does it still serve me?

  
  

Curiosity dissolves illusion. And when illusion softens, choice expands.

Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery

As we navigate through life, we often find ourselves caught in the web of expectations. These expectations can be overwhelming. They can stifle our creativity and hinder our growth. But here’s the good news: we have the power to break free.

By questioning the “shoulds” in our lives, we embark on a journey of self-discovery. This journey isn’t always easy, but it’s incredibly rewarding. It allows us to reclaim our autonomy and make choices that align with our true selves.

The Role of Curiosity

Curiosity is a powerful tool. It encourages us to dig deeper and explore the roots of our beliefs. When we approach our “shoulds” with curiosity, we open the door to new possibilities. We can redefine our paths and create a life that resonates with who we truly are.

So, let’s embrace curiosity! Let’s ask ourselves the tough questions and be willing to explore the answers.

Conclusion: Your Path to Clarity

In conclusion, auditing your “shoulds” can lead to profound clarity. It’s about peeling back the layers of inherited beliefs and discovering what truly matters to you.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. We all have “shoulds” that we’ve carried for far too long. But by recognizing them, we can begin to let go and create a life filled with authenticity and joy.

So, what are you waiting for? Dive into your “shoulds” and see what unfolds. You might just surprise yourself with what you find.

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If you’re curious about personalized coaching, feel free to check out this link. It could be the first step toward a more fulfilling life!