Why Your Goals Keep Failing: Build Capacity, Not Just a Plan

I need to tell you something. I don't actually coach women to achieve their goals.

I know. Weird thing to hear from someone whose coaching framework is built around a 90-day plan to achieve your goals.

Goals are usually why women hire me. And our first conversation almost always sounds like one of two things:

"I know what I want, but I don't know how to get there...or I can't seem to stick with it."

Or...

"I don't even know what I want anymore. I just know this can't be it/I know there's more."

Both are valid. Neither is actually the problem.

What's missing when the goal isn't the problem?

The goal isn't just asking you to do something. It's asking you to become someone. And that's what I help women do 🙂

Most of us have been taught to focus our energy on the goal. And why not? It's exciting to think about the promotion, the business, the book, the healthier habits. We feel motivated (uh-oh…you know what we don't rely on…motivation…).

But asking ourselves, Am I becoming the person who can actually hold the life I'm asking for? That's harder.

It pains me to say it, but a cute planner isn't going to fix this. Neither is a more inspiring quote (even if it's mine).

What actually builds the capacity to hold a goal?

Here's what actually builds capacity:

• Learning to hear yourself again, separate from everyone else's noise.

• Making decisions without needing outside approval first.

• Choosing intentionally instead of automatically.

• Leaning into discomfort instead of engineering your way around it or avoiding it altogether (a favorite strategy).

  
  

That's called self-trust, and I love her. This is actually the work I do. I don't know how to fit that on a business card, though.

Yes, the women I coach achieve incredible goals. They launch businesses, write the book, get healthier, make career pivots, but those aren't the transformation. They're the evidence.

What actually changed is the woman pursuing the goal. She has built the capacity not just to create that life...but to sustain it.

If you want to build your capacity, that's what a call together is for. Twenty minutes and a clear-eyed look at what's going on and where you want to go. And look, I know it can feel scary to take that first step, but I promise you, making the call will feel better than living with the what-ifs. And it's really not scary; I'm usually wearing my hair in a bun, drinking a Diet Coke, and one of my cats joins us.

Book A Call

If you're open to it...

Where in your life are you trying to force the goal...instead of growing the person who will hold it?

Book the call, bring a snack, talk to you soon.