Comfy, Cozy, Stuck

I keep chewing on the idea of discomfort. Not suffering or hustle culture glamorization of pain, just the regular degular kind that shows up when you're doin something you care about.

Brooke Kaplan and I chatted on Wait - What Do You Do Again? about being an endurance athlete while managing type 1 diabetes. And I had to ask, why? Why add this level of discomfort to her life? Her answer was pretty simple - to prove to herself she can. (Isn't that what Edmund Hillary said about Everest? How long has it been since I mentioned Mt. Everest?)

We love choosing an outcome. We are less enthusiastic about the experience required to get to the outcome. And discomfort is usually what's underneath people saying they don't feel ready.

Want to write the book? There's the blank page and a blinking cursor. Want the bigger role? There's the conversation where you have to actually ask for it, out loud, and risk hearing no. Want to change careers? There's being new again, after you already built expertise once. Want a more honest relationship? There's saying the thing you've been avoiding saying.

Hey, that's not fun.

So we say we're not ready, as if enough preparation will make the discomfort go away.

Why "Not Ready" Usually Means "Not Comfortable Yet"

Listen to how "not ready" actually sounds out loud: "I'm not ready to ask." "I'm not ready to leave." "I'm not ready to launch." "I'm not ready to have that conversation." Translate it honestly, and it usually means: I don't feel comfortable enough yet.

Ready is not the absence of discomfort. Ready is the decision that the discomfort is worth moving through, and that you can handle it, regardless of what comes.

How to Tell If Discomfort Is a Warning or Just Growth

That doesn't mean bulldozing through every warning sign your body or gut gives you. It means learning to read the friction. Is this discomfort telling you something is wrong? Or is it just telling you that you're doing something new, visible, consequential, or honest? Those are two completely different signals, and confusing them is how capable, ambitious women stay stuck for years — not because they decided against something, but because they never got past interpreting the discomfort in the first place.

If you're open to it, think about one thing you keep telling yourself you're "not ready" for. Then ask: what does "ready" actually mean here? And what is the discomfort with starting actually trying to tell me?

If the answer is that it's worth it, you don't need to feel more ready. You need to decide, and move.

Quick Answers

Is discomfort a sign I'm not ready?

Discomfort is a normal response to doing something new, consequential, or honest. Not-ready is a story we tell ourselves when we mistake discomfort for a warning sign.

How do I know if my discomfort is a warning or just growth?

Ask what the discomfort is actually responding to. If it's tied to a real red flag like a boundary being crossed, it may be a warning. If it's tied to visibility, newness, or asking for something you want, it's usually just the cost of moving forward.

What does "ready is a decision, not a feeling" mean?

It means you don't wait to feel comfortable before acting. You decide the outcome is worth the discomfort required to get there, and you move before the feeling of readiness ever arrives.

I'm taking on 3-session Sprint clients right now, and opening new 3-session and 9-session spots starting in October. A Sprint is built around something you're already working on, the current roadblocks, a plan that actually fits your life, and support to move it forward instead of carrying it alone. Book your strategy consultation call here.